They've got Rammstein, they've got "Run Lola Run," they've got Der Dritte Raum, they've got Wim Wenders - c'mon, folks, let's give a big up to Germany! It's about time. Coming soon: props to France, Japan and Missouri.

"Dear Yola -- Choosing a career is often a difficult decision. In your case, being a witch is really a religious choice and not a career choice, but I think some of the same principles would apply." Yes, Miss Abigail's Time Warp Advice has heard them all. And she has answered every question she's been asked, rightly or wrongly, from her collection of advice books - not a one published prior to 1822 or after the disco inferno of 1977. Suffering from premature baldness? Need a date to the prom? Boyfriend addicted to H? Somebody has been there before you, gentle reader, and addressed the problem in a sensitive or maddeningly oblique manner. Sometimes the advice resonates, sometimes not; in all cases, it makes for some pretty decent reading, for pretty decent folk like yourselves.
 

"It takes more than combat gear to make a man," Sting declared, in "Englishman in New York." Quite so. It takes a tuxedo, for one thing. It takes the ability to seduce women in such a manner that those women would stop bullets for you. It takes a BMW with Stinger missiles behind the headlights. In so many words, you have to be James Bond -- or else you're just another sissy Schwarzenegger. The Ian Fleming character has proven a durable cultural icon, and little short of a watershed for MGM - the 19th film of the series, "The World is Not Enough," bows in November - but how much do we really know about the guy? Is he the no-nonsense tough guy of Timothy Dalton, the swaggering sex bomb of Sean Connery, the dinner-jacketed goofball of Roger Moore or the straight-outta-Harrods pretty boy of Pierce Brosnan? Does he, you know, go to the bathroom? And the seduce-'em-and-'let-'em-get-whacked bit - what's up with that? The answers to these questions may or may not reside at the official James Bond website, along with some very cool QuickTime movies, photos, and other bits of declassified kitsch from the 18 previous films. Just realize this, fair miss, before you make a decision: The next playful chauvinist down is Kid Rock. Yikes.
 

Parisian DJs Guy-Manuel De Horem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter are Daft Punk. Daft Punk makes music within the "Electronica" genre, a form of musical expression that finds its individual voice through synthetic - as opposed to acoustic - means. The All-Music Guide had this to say of the music Daft Punk makes: "A style of straightahead dance music not attempted since the early fusion days of on-the-one funk and dance-party disco." Daft Punk's official website features streaming files of their danceable songs, accompanied by Shockwave animations of light and color patterns meant to evoke the "Disco Era," a period in the pop culture era during which mean went dancing in big white suits, women didn't wear bras or knickers and everyone took a lot of stimulants (but this particular caveat has no bearing on our discussion). Daft Punk is a happy, happy dance music ensemble, guaranteed to put a little light into your humdrum day, and their website is a fine place to hear them again or for the first time. And brother, they pump out the deep-booty-action-funk like a sonofabitch. Stimulants! Stimulants!
 

"Mr. Passenger, sir?" "Yeah, kid?" "Oh wizened, half-drunk and brain-fried authority figure, what were the 1970s like?" "Well, my ignorant little yard ape, the 1970s were a time of great optimism. Jimmy Carter was in the White House, and unlike other Presidents, he admitted to perusing Playboy strictly for the pictures. Bellbottoms were coming around for the first time. And you could have any sex partner you wanted for a nickel bag." "Wow, how wonderful the 1970s must have been!" "You bet yer sweet bippy, you pernicious skate-park partron. To find out more about the 1970s, you really should view the cinema of the period. There's nothing I can tell you about the 1970s that 'Putney Swope,' 'Billy Jack,' 'Mondo Cane' and 'Deep Throat' can't tell you better." "Where would I find these cinematic epochs? At my local Blockbuster?" "Afraid not, kid. The 1970s were such a fiercely optimistic and giving time for cinema that Blockbuster won't carry the films from that period, what with their loosey-goosey morals and all. You'll have to check out Pimpadelic Wonderland, a site devoted to the rough-hewn beauty of the 1970s, and read about these films. It's one of the best pop culture sites I've had the pleasure of visiting. Now get the hell off my goddamned porch, foul lover of MTV's 'Global Groove,' before I get my bleepin' gun."

I am truly a world o' global love. Particularly if your part of the world produces some good music, film, or at least a half-decent cocktail. Tell me about where you live, willya? The address is below, ensconced in its diplomatic envelope. I salute you, world citizen!